We ran into our dear family friend today. She shared her woes and her victories with us, highlighting her son’s recent educational success. My mom and I smiled and said, “Praise God.”
Then my mom told her about my application to Georgetown. “Joelle worked so hard on it, and I know she wants to go there.”
“You know,” I said, “The more people who know about me applying to Georgetown, the more painful the rejection letter will be.”
Our family friend responded. “You will get in. I know that. And I’m glad your mom told me about your dream because we are family. The Lord put this desire on your heart, and you will get in; do not waver in your faith.”
“I’ll tell my son to pray for you because he is a prayer warrior,” she continued. “Keep praying. But have faith. Believe in this all the way through.”
I thought about her words and I thought about the verse she kind of referenced in James (that I’m about to kind of reference), that a doubter is like a ship with no sail, wavering and drifting. And then I tried to imagine myself praying, “Lord, please give me Georgetown,” but it was impossible because I know how I pray, and I know that my thought process would elicit all thoughts of praying for God’s will as in “Lord, I would like to go to Georgetown, but I won’t pray that because you know what’s best for me and I don’t want to demand anything from you” even though I’m pretty sure that’s not the right way to pray knowing about such people of faith as David and the persistent widow.
My defense mechanism against rejection is to guard my heart. Not allow myself to get attached to what’s attainable (the male species has something to do with this). But I’ve allowed myself to want Georgetown so much that it’s going to hurt when I get that rejection letter, and I’m still not capable of seeing things like our family friend who said that she knows I’ll get accepted into Georgetown.
In the conversation, she did say that God will give me what is best for me. I’m more prone to hold on to that promise, but I definitely think Christians should adopt this kind of faith. It’s biblical. Our God is bigger than our troubles. And He owns it all.